We started to prepare for our second embryo transfer the beginning of January. I was hopeful for our next embryo transfer. We started shots, patches, and progesterone. Everything seemed to be according to plan. However, after one of my ultrasounds they found that my uterus lining was not getting as thick as they would have liked to see. I returned in a little less than a week for another ultrasound. I was told that my lining was probably the thickest it would get. We had the option to continue with the transfer or start all over again preparing my lining to thicken. I was told "this is just your body", the doctor referring to my uterine lining. That was hard for me to hear especially since its my body that is holding us back from having babies. My lining in the past had been thick both times with both Brielle and the baby we lost. So knowing that I had some concern. We drove down to Seattle for our transfer on February 5th. We met with the embryologist who told us that an embryo was lost in the thawing process. This was very disappointing news to hear that we had only one embryo left after this transfer. We went ahead with the transfer and everything went smoothly. We went on with our usual life after I rested all weekend. That following week we would have family in from Texas. I tried to keep myself distracted as much as possible. I ended up taking a pregnancy test at home a few days before our blood test which was a faint possible. I tried not to get my hopes up but I'll admit I was a bit excited. A few days later my blood test came back positive but just a little lower than where they liked to see it. It made us feel a little doubtful and I tried not to think about it. I had another test scheduled three days later to make sure my levels were increasing. I waited what felt like all day for my test results. I had a pit in my stomach all day and just had a bad feeling about it all. The moment my nurse called and I picked up the phone I just knew something was wrong. I was told this was a biochemical pregnancy and I should be expecting a period soon. Again, I was crushed. I felt my heart shatter again in a million pieces and I couldn't keep it together. I felt the need to share my story and though my husband was hesitant, I knew we needed the prayers and support. It's been difficult dreaming of our large family and then never watching that come true. I've always wanted to be a mom more than anything in this world and feel like I have so much love to give. I know we'll get there eventually and it will all be worth it.
Today, we're starting shots for our last embryo transfer taking place next month. As hard as it is I've been trying to stay hopeful. Its out of my hands and in Gods. Thank you for following along and all the support.
